…change…

…my life with spontaneity, vision blurred, shelved to …. whims of the day. No holds barred I am walking with no footprints and thinking of my tryst… of smiles … of feelings … core of what I am … was and will be. If there is some transformation; I am oblivious. Taking control of things around doesn’t move me much, but that is what this world survives on. I wish to be like water and take shape of my present…and the rest is left to time…for thought of the moment to work…

Cuckoo…

What was this movie Cuckoo about? About the Lappi girl, about the chemistry between three people who hardly understood each others’ language and still had interactions which were far from mundane. The story about a woman, whose husband hasn’t been home for four years; who has survived with elaborate arrangements to meet her needs. The two other characters are a sniper turned university student and a war veteran who got an opportunity to escape and live again.

Amid second world war the story paints human sensitivity and desires, centrally through Cuckoo. The war veteran, a Russian(Ivan) called Gerlost by the Finnish guy Vaiko, is fed up of war and disgusted by fascists. He failed in his life with lady-love and is saved by Annie(the lady), who has healing powers. He falls for Annie but expression devoid of reception holds no good for him. Annie likes Vaiko for his muscular built and has physical needs which she is set to fulfil. She is charmed by the fact that she has 2 men in her life out of no where, as she had been insanely lonely without her husband.
She is full of love for the living and seems to be a beautiful personification of mother nature. She never seduces any of the men but takes the Finnish guy to feel the flesh of a man and enjoys the communion. While she moans all through the night, she frustrated the Russian. Both men hardly got together well as the Russian accused the Finnish for being a Fasicst. The animosity ends only after the Russian shoots Vaiko, when he mistook Vaiko’s move as an attempt to kill him. Annie knows some unearthly trick to call the spirits back and forces Vaiko’s soul to get back in his body. Now its Ivan’s turn, while Vaiko is yet to gain
consciousness Annie consummates with Ivan.

Both men become friends after that night, helping Annie in the daily chores, surviving on fish and reindeer milk. Annie realizes in due time that both men wanted to return back to their homes. She bids them goodbye without showing a sign of emotional attachment with them. She was as serene as the placid surrounding around her and the river. She gives birth to a boy and a girl and names them Gerlost and Vaiko.

that Commencement…Stanford ‘08

Just attended a commencement ceremony today with Oprah Winfrey as the commencement speaker.

Oprah’s Speech: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bpd3raj8xww&feature=user

Quite a speech that is. I attended 08’s commencement and Oprah gave a different perspective on life and success, although a bit stretched.
These people stand for something that inspires us, and is very close to every single human being. “The desire to live and make a life out of it.”

Hey…have we met before?

I entered into this walmart…scurrying to buy a scrubber, as I had left my bike unlocked at that shop. This Indian guy accosted me and asked ” You from SJSU [San Jose State Univ] ?”.

Me: “No I am from Minneapolis”.

Guy1: “I saw you somewhere around, so you work here?”

Me: Anyways don’t bug me man, I am in hurry. “No, I am doing my internship here”.

Guy1: “So like the weather here? So where did you say you are doing intern?”

Me: company X.

Guy1: “Great. I run a company here, use to work at Cisco before”.

Me: Doesn’t seem so.

Guy1: “So may be we can talk sometime, it’s good to develop contacts here”

We exchanged contacts. In midst of all this I was recalling my unlocked bike.

Me: “Ok nice meeting you. Bye” ..thank god…I had no clue from where did that come. Anyways…

I was still looking for the scrubber and some other stuff i got to buy. Suddenly I find another guy not ready to let me through the alley.

Guy2: “Hello, how are you?”

Me: “Hi, I am fine”.

Guy2: “So, you are new here?”

Me: Why should he care. Now what this guys wants?

Guy2: “So you are?”

Me:I cut him off, “I intern here”.

Guy2: “I have been seeing many interns in bay area since last year”.

Me: Yeah…it’s been a year since this place became hub for software development….it’s not year 1990 but 2008 you moron. I figured out this bird from its feather; I had met his brethren couple of minutes ago.

Guy2: “So..”

Me: “Hey…look I gotta hurry..nice meeting you”. You ridiculous creature, I recognize their breed now and their motto, “Business anywhere…ANYWHERE”.

Quizzical….

What?? Why?? When?? life is quizzical isn’t it? I wonder what am up to what I am going to scribe here…etc.

So just reflecting on life for my own sake. Why is there a lull? Or does it happen in some phase of life or that there grows a vacuum that you make yourself a part of, outgrowing your social tendencies and getting inclined towards misanthropic behavior. When it’s too much to take in life and you have so less comprehension of it, you start caring less. But then some inane tendencies are so alive even when you feel inbound for long that you are forced to rejoice. See.. I am not a littérateur, so these words be far from an iota of consequence.

But I must right[why should I right than write ? ] to rant. About? isn’t there so much in life to rant about. Indeed there are occasions to rave as well. It’s so distant…the path taken by the idols…just the remains of memories of their actions and inactions. The world of dreams is far far away and it takes sometime in life to realize that…Okie..now don’t read ahead if you don’t feel like…you are already feeling morose reading this.

One glaring question that I have is: what is the truth. That it’s all a game and everyone have his objective function that he may try to maximize and his share of strategies which are driven by the way he is wired or has grown into a configurable box…what???…yeah. Let’s make life easy here…isn’t that a simple and convincing view. Yeah I am reflecting owing to a course I did this semester. But that concept is so close to good/perfect realization of how things work. And it’s important for people to realize how an ideal concept is zillions of light years away from this world right here….yeah the one portrayed by George Orwell. World with big brother, Uncle Sam(s) etc. And it’s so frightening to look at the world in that shade.

But then there are different perception and none absolute. George’s is one. Now don’t tell me that I’ve beleaguered enough about Orwell here.

So, as I can see a painting and as my friend sees it comes out to be different, so it’s about the truth. Just that we my not be affected by the changes that this painting undergoes during its life-time, but are certainly by the dynamics of life in n-dimensions. The dimensions again are not standard Physics. It’d have been mundane as a truth, has that been so.

You still thinking…I was not making a point…were you?

So, off to work now…both of us don’t have so much time to waste. Talk to me sometime if you find more about it. but you know what…don’t think too much…it doesn’t help…didn’t help me atleast.

Adios

i feel…

Ideas to glory…what kind of…should be of leadership which progresses, of art that assimilates, of civilization that is considerate, of man who is human. Our stand towards the neighbor today, is set to take away any glimmer of hope that would have dawned on us sometime. I could still be optimistic and aver to events around as complex web of right and wrong, perceptions and actions, which are destined to take the right path. But the reality leaves much to be desired out of all of us. As humans we are lacking in our initiatives and faith to set things right. Easily said than put into action…the thoughts are still more than a concoction of a lazy mind. We better learn to rule our mind before stepping out and look out to change others.

… … …

sounds are around…I just need to weave them…vision is there … I just need to capture it…music is pervasive…I just need to let it come…somebody is knocking…I just need to hear…life is there…I need to get into it…time is there…I just need to hold on…words are there….I need to express…love is there…I need to feel it…dream ready to realize…I just need to work on…the beauty of life is ‘I’ and everything around…and I must see it…

the world is all for us with open arms…we need to smile and accept it .

Bhaage re Mann..

Sometimes it’s feels so nostalgic … it takes you to all those beautiful things of past which you loved, enjoyed with all your heart. And ones which are marked more discreetly, are the ones which were around, but you did not let them come to you.

Those things which are amiss today, were there, when you ignored them…and now you miss them…so there are lessons learned … to be open and not close the doors…”lightning will strike :)” [ya that's from "meet joe black"]…and you may finally find it…

till then … feel the rhythm….

manav dharm

Apney sukh aur swaarth ki chah main
jeevan yeh beet jayega,
swarth vihit, ek yudh kare,
woh din kya kabhi aayega?

prarthana hai meri, hey ishwar,
nasth kar do is jeevan bhram ko,
jo manav samvendna se aparichit hai,
is laalsa ka jo nikrisht hai.

jo manav shareer main rehkar bhi laachaar hai,
mrit hai woh, woh nira bekar hai.
satya to ananth hai, woh shaktishaali hai,
bhram ki parchaayi se door, wah ek jeevan hai.

aasha hai ki manav bhawna jagrit hogi,
sabal yodha bankar woh samar main jayega,
ek ananth roop lekar, swaarth ki parakashtha tyaag kar,
manav hone ka ehsaas us main aayega.

karta hoon awaahan, ” chalo ab swaarth ke bhram se bahar aana hai,
prakriti se prerna lekar hume, manav-dharm nibhana hai.”

abhishek (06-19-2006)

I am …

I am…

I am a cheer-leader,

I am a gust of life,

I am a thought of peace, alas,

I am going to become a grey cloud.

I am changing colors,

I am affected by faith, but,

I am no icon of religion, still,

I am dwarfed by confirmation.

I am diversity in the fabric,

I am a shadow of light,

I am a man so common,

Nothing else but a human.